I think Tyler would approve. My inspiration? Why, that strange forest called the internet.

My life is slowly spiraling downward, and the one thing that's cheered me up was watching Fight Club. Hitting bottom might just be the best thing for me to do at this point. It's time for me to stop wasting my life and do something meaningful. I'm finished with pretending to be nice when people act intentionally shitty.

You know who you are. Beware.

You are a Social Liberal (88% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (21% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

</center>

I've been having allergy problems for the last couple of days and I can't open my right ear. Mucus is blocking my eustachian tube, and I'm in panic mode about my plane ride tomorrow night. What if it doesn't open and my eardrum ruptures? My bad experience two years ago is scaring the ever loving shit out of me right now. I've been reading about what might happen to my hearing if this happens: good news: there shouldn't be any permanent hearing damage; bad news: it could be even more painful than last time. I'm not really clogged up any more, so WHY WON'T MY EAR FUCKING POP ALREADY???

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!!

WHY do I keep fucking up like this???? FUCK.

proof =>

I found this on a forum site, so i take no credit.

Finished watching/Finally watched:
Eureka seveN
Fight Club (THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVAR. EVAR!!!!)
Pan's Labrynth
Monty Python's Life of Brian
Transformers
Paranoia Agent
Yu-gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (Youtube)
Red Vs. Blue

My bassoon teacher's got me started working on Mozart's Bassoon Concerto. I think my brain snapped at the sheer overwhelming difficulty.

Also, the Untitled Trailer before Transformers looks AMAZING.

PURE. GODZILLA. MADNESS.

J.J. Abrams better not f*ck it up. I've had a lukewarm reaction to the news that he's directing Star Trek XI.

My first album is finally finished. I need to work in cover art and get it copyrighted. And, you know, actually sell a copy and not just burn it for people. *facepalm* I never really wanted to make money off of it, I just don't want someone else making money off of my music. Hell, if I sell enough copies and don't blow the money on anime junk, I could afford to get a better program than Garageband. It works, but I need one centered more around making electronic music rather than recording real instruments. Heh. I can make myself feel better about writing techno rather than music for real instruments when I remind my self that I have three different private music teachers.

Not that I practice.

I'm an excellent sightreader because I'm usually winging it when it comes time to play what I was supposed to have practiced. If I ever have a week where I play every day like I'm supposed to, I'll know the material so well that I'll actually have to practice to keep my quality of playing consistent. Which means that OHNOES! I WONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR MY ANIMES!!!

On a final note, I think I'm dehydrated. *passes out*

Late last night, I finished watching Eureka seveN. This morning as I walked around my block, I saw this cloud in the sky. It's the first day of summer for me. Will this be the Summer of Love?

Well.
It was emo, it was cheesy, it was chock full of Petrellicest right a the end.

It also happened to be made of FUCKING WIN. 8D 8D 8D

My predictions for Volume Two:
Sylar becomes a Ninja Turtle!
Hiro will be an Afro Samurai!
That one chick who was shot by accident will make an appearance! [edit: Simone. I never liked her anyway.]
Peter will not be a pile of radioactive dust! He will be a pile of radioactive person!
Sylar will stop getting owned! For once...
Matt will come back as the Bionic Woman! I mean, Man!

Aw shit, this means I have to scrape together another $50 for an iTunes card. %@$&!!!

597 days until they ruin/make my life......

[Making] Pictures like this make me feel emo.

On another note, I made a hat with bunny ears, I saw Jesse, and haxlikefuckingwhoa.

I made avatars of people:

<--Devin <--hobobndgeek <--Spencer <--Grady <--Alice

P.S. Grady's shirt is called the "Don't Ask Don't Tell Shirt." XD

I'M DOWNLOADING HEROES SEASON ONE ON iTUNES, BABY!!

I had to ninja myself to Safeway to buy a $50 Gift Card, too.

...
my legs hurt now.

I'm out for blood tommorow. How could it have betrayed me like this? Well, at least I'll have time to catch up.

137/129/44

...umm... that's all i had to say.

Also, still crazy.

Everyone has sadistic urges, but this is going too far. Almost every ounce of my self-control is gone. On Monday, I almost stabbed the woman sitting next to me in the neck with a pencil. Today, I went to breakfast after 0 period, then went on a walk around the wetland trail near my school. I went home to change for second period AND NEVER LEFT MY HOUSE AGAIN. I just don't care anymore, and it's not bothering me much at all, which in itself is unnerving. Right now, I'm just watching my life unfold without thinking my actions through. I have no motivation and I just want to be free of the life I have. I need something different.

My problems/situations that I am aware of:
1) I'm completely addicted to the internet. It's my best friend (other than Xan, who may or may not exist, depending on your point of view).
2) I have no conscience. I would kill someone to watch them die. Truly.
3) Just like when I lost all of my friends in elementary school, I feel disconnected from people. I can't relate to others anymore.
4) I Have No Fucking Motivation To Care About My Grades. I am doing enough to get by. Playing bassoon will get me into college for sure. If it doesn't, I'll travel and support myself because....
4.5) I'm willing to do almost anything for money, as long as it's not sexual. By the way it looks, I'll probably die a bloody sodding virgin.
5) I hate the fact that I can only see flaws in my parents. I think they should both just fuck off and leave me alone. Which brings us to...
6) I would rather be alone than with anyone else. I've made friends by putting on a mask. If I should choose to remove that mask, which I'm pretty close to doing now, I have a strong feeling they won't want to be close to me anymore. Which I honestly could get over pretty fucking quick. Now I get why Hollows have masks.
7) I can hardly take care of myself. I'm self-sustaining, to be sure, but I don't really like myself very much and things can degenerate pretty fast, as I've seen in the past.
8) I'm a vengeful, selfish bitch who would sell someone over if it means I can get ahead.
9) I'm not good at the things I enjoy. I get too aggravated to continue.

This list pertains to everyone except maybe 1 or 2 people.

[FUCK EVERYBODY. FUCK YOU.]

My school newspaper asked me to draw something !anime! for the back cover. Here's thte final result -> http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48969913/

Jo colored it and I did lines ^_^ !

http://community.livejournal.com/hellsing/960653.html#cutid1
http://community.livejournal.com/hellsing/960653.html?thread=13321101#t13321101
http://groups.msn.com/ATU-BOTI/maturehellsing.msnw

merry wintereenmas